Sunday hiking is my reboot for the week that lies ahead. I discovered the Modderfontein reserve in Johannesburg, South Africa, in December 2018, whilst scrolling on Facebook, and oh my word, what a find! It’s the old AECI explosives testing site, which now comprises 700 hectares of the most pristine and beautiful hiking, cycling and running trails.
My health has been an issue for many years, but in 2018, I decided to take it back. I got off all the meds that I’d been put on, because nobody knew what was really wrong with me. All I knew was that I was in pain from my brain to my toes. 13 months later and I hiked 10km’s today!
I stopped eating inflammatory, synthetic foods and I slowly started exercising. In the beginning I exercised through the pain, but as I lost each kilo, the pain diminished on it’s own, with no pain killers needed. I’ve lost 12 kilos and many more inches, and I feel human again. It’s a very special feeling to feel human after feeling like an alien in your own body, for so long.
Of course I could never do it without the support of my patient beautiful life partner Mr. C. Without him I know I would never get up at 5am on a Sunday, to go hiking at 6am.
My appproach to my life is a choice. I choose to see the beauty in everything. It doesn’t make me lucky and it isn’t always perfect, but it sure beats wallowing in the negativity that we are purposefully exposed to. The more pretty pictures I post, the more people tell me how lucky I am that my life seems so perfect. There’s no such thing as the perfect life, but there’s definitely a thing called the perfect choice.
How do you keep the masses from questioning your dodgy actions?
You keep them stupid, hungry, cold and in debilitating debt. That way they will just be trying to survive, they will never have time or capacity to question or see the beauty in anything.
How do you not become one of those masses?
You make a very conscious choice to choose a different life. You enlighten yourself any way you can. Don’t assume that you have to pay for everything, you don’t, you live in the smartest world, with access to things called Google and YouTube, that can teach you anything you want to know, for free. Don’t tell me it’s not free because you need data, there’s free wi-fi, you may just have to choose to look a little harder for it.
How do you shift your thinking from shame poor me to Yay me?
You stop listening to fake negative news, that’s a logical choice. You choose to search out the beauty that we are surrounded by, and hardly ever see, because you’re so busy obsessing about situations you cannot ever change. You hold a thing in your hand every single day that enables you to capture so much beauty. Go to the camera in your phone, focus on something beautiful and capture it, and then share it and make somebody happy, because you made a choice to share beauty and not ugly! You don’t have to be a photographer, you just have to be committed to seeing the beauty that is everywhere, and that has been gifted to us for free. You’re surrounded by it, you just have to start seeing it.
And when you start experiencing the feeling of satisfaction, because you put something beautiful out into the world, then you will understand the difference between being lucky and being the navigator of your own destiny.
It’s always a choice 💜
I get really, really irritated when people tell me how lucky I am to have my own business, be my own boss, have my own choices blah, blah, blah. I’ve decided to become ‘unirritated’ and choose to accept that I’m incredibly blessed with luck. Blessed to do what I love, blessed to make a difference, and especially blessed to work with some of the most amazing women.
I’m going to be featuring some of those amazing women through 2017. I thought I should kick off the initiative by featuring a woman who inspires me, who makes me so proud to dress her, and a woman we should all know about because she embraces who she is…very proudly.
Mari Lee is the founder and CEO of DevCom, a company that prides itself on creating a direct link between effective communication, and achieving business objectives. Mari has 18 years experience in development, project management and strategic projects.
Dressing Mari is inspiring on so many levels. I’ve dressed her personally, I’ve dressed her team for corporate events, and every time I work with DevCom, I’m reminded of how blessed I am to have such grateful and loyal clients…and very lucky too!
Mari shared these photos with me, and has graciously consented to me sharing them with all of you.
It’s emails like this that make me so incredibly sad. I can only imagine the desperation, and then the guts to actually write and send this email. I still cannot believe that no other stores get the need for respectfully designed Odd and Plus sizes. Surely I cannot be the only designer, with her own weight issues, that gets it…that thought defies logic.
I am constantly pushing the design boundaries for Plus sizes, because the needs are very different to normal sizes, and you cannot think that you are just going to upsize normal sizes. When designing collections for Hayley Joy, I insist on incorporating styles for all occasions, because this is not the first email like this, and it certainly won’t be the last.
The good news is that T arrived, tried on two different styles, first one was definitely not right, second one was amazing. She shrank in front of my eyes. Her relief was inspiring, and so was her gratitude.
Being able to make a difference and make a living…once again, my gratitude knows no bounds.
A common conversation in Hayley Joy retail is body image. This quote made me start thinking about how every conversation has the same thread…if only I could lose some weight.
Well let’s be honest, by now we do understand that we didn’t arrive at our current weight in one month, so it definitely isn’t going to take one month to lose it. We spend so much unnecessary time obsessing about our size, and what other people think about our size!!
I love walking on the beach, but I don’t love being in a bathing costume, so I don’t walk on the beach. Why? Oh because I think the whole beach is looking at me, well they’re not. They are more likely to be doing a bunch of other things, than they are ever likely to be looking at me. So why do I allow my insecurities to define what I do and don’t do.
I have a very strong opinion about this fact, actually I have two options. The first one is, what makes us think that we are so special that everybody is looking at us, because they aren’t, they are looking at their cellphone screen, scrolling on Facebook…that’s the reality. My second opinion is that if we spent as much time loving ourselves as we do bashing ourselves, we would have so much more time to do the things that make us happy.
In my never ending quest to make women feel better about themselves, I have started to design styles that I would normally never have designed, because I was being led by my assumption that nobody would wear sleeveless, nobody would wear white, nobody would wear anything that wasn’t a traditional cover up for Plus sizes. The response has been phenomenal and I am loving how I’m getting previous stalwarts to shift their emphatic ‘no I will never go sleeveless’, to ‘what the hell, I’m done worrying what everybody thinks’. It is a very important shift for me and my business going forward, because I hold many keys to unlocking self love.
I strive to be the Plus size fashion designer who designs respectful and well fitting fashion, and now I’m taking it a step further and pushing the limits ever so slightly, by designing Odd size and Plus size styles that are not perceived as normal for these sizes.
I’ve designed a fabulous sleeveless swing top sized from S – 7XL, with perfectly engineered armholes, because we don’t get fat in our armholes. I never understand why Plus size armholes are always cut out so deeply, that every bit that we don’t want to stick out, sticks out. I’ve incorporated every design aspect that is required to fit and flatter all shapes and sizes, and every time I see this design on the various body shapes, I gain more confidence to push the design boundary even further.
My design journey is a very inspiring one and it is now becoming a very fulfilling one. More love for ourselves ❤️ Hayley